Simple Things

After not feeling well all weekend, I was determined to make this week a good one! So Monday I woke to see my roommate off to work, and did just that. I went for a walk to Border's and then walked through the park on my way back. You know that saying "someone else is always a little worse than you" SO TRUE. It's amazing how many simple things we take for granted each and every day of our lives. While I was walking I was silently praying and observing simple miracles God gives us everyday. Look outside today and be thankful for beautiful things that you enjoy. It might be your favorite flowers, tree, or even simple sunshine. Be thankful for having the ability to walk and be able to see and enjoy those things, because honestly they are simply wonderful.

On kind of another note, spun from the walk, I am going to invest in a bike. I bet you guys are so excited to see my cute new bike riding the roads of Buckhead. I can't drive for 6 months due to seizures (stupid) and I am way to independent and stubborn to have to wait for people to drive me around. Of course I had no idea what kind of bike to even buy, I was looking at mountain bike, how was I was supposed to know? But with the help of a good friend we found  a cute, "riding" bike. Of course I want pink and sparkly. I'll keep you posted on this adventure

The anxiety of Thursday is starting to slowly taking over my life. I stay up late, I woke up early, and basically I just do not sleep. The way feel is almost impossible to put into words. I am scared, but relieved. Anxious, and nervous, but also excitement to finally get the process started. I go today for an MRI and more Cat Scans. And then surgery tomorrow....EEKS!

I have a few requests. For those of you lifting me up in prayers, I know its human nature, even for me, to pray for selfish things like, no cancer. But, I ask that you pray for God's will, and pray more for acceptance, and patience for me this week and during this journey. Also pray for yourselves! Pray that you guys can all be strong for each other during this time, and be strong for me. I also wouldn't mind if you prayed that I lose as little hair as possible tomorrow hhaha, andddd maybe to be less stubborn. Thanks for keeping me in your prayers, its the greatest gift of all!!! Oh- and the baked goods have to stop. I have to honor of being the maid of honor in Laura and Michael's wedding in April, and I prefer not to be obese while standing on the alter! Thanks!


Thanks to Chloe, Casey, Michael, and Kevin  for filling my apartment with beautiful flowers!!! AND.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE!!!

The Clincher....

So, I have insomnia. It's like a timer goes off in my body every morning at 5 am. It sucks. I am sure it's a mixture of nerves I don't express throughout the the day, and the anxiety of having to sit and wait....that is the worse part so far.

SO.....Somewhere through the process of this whole thing, I lost my job. No, I am not joking. I couldn't write a story this good if I tried. I didn't lose it because of my sickness, but my companies new CEO decided to shut down the Atlanta branch which has left me jobless. I haven't quite figured out what I am going to do about this new development yet. Maybe I will win the lottery, or just move to a beach and become a bum. Sounds tempting, right?

I am convinced it is some sort of blessing in disguise since I wasn't released to work right now anyway. But you if you know any marketing or sales jobs in the Atlanta area, I am actively searching!

Today Michelle and Cody are going to visit me from Auburn, and I am thrilled! Tomorrow Katie and Matt are coming, and of course I have the continued support of my everyday backbones Colleen and Laura. Have I told everyone what a lucky girl I am? I don't think I could ask for better friends.

Back in Atlanta

Here's what you guys have all been waiting for.....

I finally got back to Atlanta.  I am so happy to be back in the south, back with my family and friends, and eager and ready to fight this tumor!


I went to the doctor yesterday, and found out some unexpected news. The tumor is in fact on top of my brain, but areas they thought in Arizona that were swelling around the tumor, are more tumor growing and embedded in good tissue of my brain. It can't be removed through surgery without permanently damaging my speech and basically removing too much of the "good" brain. I was hoping they could have made me a little smarter while they were in there!! :)


After seeing many doctors yesterday, next week I will have another MRI to see how much the tumor has grown, and then on Thursday they will remove a piece of the tumor to see if its benign or malignant so we can see what my form of treatment I need. No matter what radiation will be in involved, I am praying no chemo, and no cancer! I KNOW good news is around the corner!!!


Thanks to everyone who has sent me a message, said a prayer, and has helped me in any way! I have the most amazing people in my life, and I am sooo thankful. So again, thank you friends! I love y'all and will keep everyone updated during my journey!

A day never forgotten.

If you guys have never met Casey Schott, she is one of the most amazing people I know. She is one of those people that I don't know how, or when our friendship exactly bloomed, but once it did, it was one of those you knew you would have for the life.


When the doctors told me the news, she silently stood by my side, and she never left. She held my hands, wiped my tears, and honestly made me smile in one of the darkest moments of my life. I am so thankful for her. Chloe and Tucci were just as amazing, and there are no words in the world to explain having them there with me. I am truly a blessed, blessed, blessed girl.


I ended up staying in ICU in Phoenix for 3 days, before they sent me home, and said I would have the tumor removed here. I left believing that the tumor was on top of my brain, and that the we could remove through surgery, and worst case I might have to go through some rehab for speech and strength on the right side of my body.


Things obviously changed..

WAR DAMN EAGLE!

Glendale was the most amazing thing I have ever done. We stayed in Scottsdale, AZ and the amount of Auburn fans was simply amazing. Orange and Blue was everywhere, and I felt like I was living in a dream world. We went out, had the time of our lives. Woke up, tailgated, and I got to watch the game with all of Auburn's die hard fans. It was was simply amazing, and one of the BEST BEST BEST times of my life.

Sadly, Tuesday morning we had to get up, and drive back to LA so we could all catch our flights and head back to the real world. It was ok though, Auburn was the NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. Let me say that again, Auburn Tiger = National Champions. War. Damn. Eagle.

I offered to drive, and just outside of Phoenix I remember looking over at beautiful, little Casey and saying "something is wrong". There was three Angels in the car with me that day, and those three girls will have a special place in my heart for the rest of my life. Casey, Stephanie, and Chloe, I LOVE YOU!

They stayed calm, told me to pull over, and right on the interstate I began to have another seizure. I could hear my friends calling 911. The scary thing about the type of seizures I am currently having is I remember the entire thing. I can hear you, see you, but I have no control of motor skills and I can't respond. To see three of your best friends so worried about you, and not be able to say anything back is a really awful feeling.

I blacked out after the seizure, and was woken, but what I must say, was quite a hunky fire fighter! (haha). I went to the ER,  and so the process began. My friends explained to the doctors what happened, and suddenly another seizure began. After that it kind of seems like a whirlwind of events. I had a cat scan of my head, and the doctor came in and told me the news. It was a brain tumor....

Going to Glendale....Not an option

Colleen finally came back to me! She brought me some "lucky irish necklace". Everyone else's somehow ended in the trash, and maybeeeeeee I should've left mine in there, too. Kidding, of course. I had given much thought to New Year's Eve, told my parents, and decided I would at least go to the doctor and explain what I thought had happened, thinking something it might be something simple, like low sugar.

 Each day passed though, and I kept feeling better, and better. The thought of the doctor kept getting pushed further and further back in my mind. Whoops.


Somewhere in the mix of my daily life, one of my best friends, Casey, and I had been playing with the idea of going to Glendale for the National Championship. I am a Die-Hard Auburn fan, and can count the number of games I have missed in the past six years on one hand. I knew this was something I simply had to do. Even if it meant I couldn't eat, shop, or basically live for the next month. I was totally ok with that.


So 4 of us did. We all booked flights to LA, stayed with Casey, and roadtripped to from LA to Scottsdale, AZ. War Eagle!

2011- The Year of the Unknown

I should have known that when my roommate, best friend, and better half left me for ten days, my year was going to start of with a bang.

I lived with Leeny in college, and in some sense, she has been the more "sane" one of the two. Again- in some sense. She left me right before Christmas to head to Ireland , her mainland for the holidays, and it was going to be our first New Year's Eve apart in years.
I had two of my other dear friends Randall and Kim come into two the Thursday before, and we were convinced it would be the best weekend of our lives. We spent hours shopping for our New Year's outfits around Atlanta before we finally headed to my apartment to "relax" before our big night. If you know my friends and myself, we do everything to extremes, and I knew NYE would be no different.  We spent the day drinking some champagne, eating frozen pizza, and catching up on Real Housewives, duh. After I rested, I got up to start getting to ring in 2011, and I didn't know that would be the moment my life would change dramatically....
I got up to get in the shower, and felt completely fine. My sparkley new black dress was waiting for my evening out, and the rest of my friends were heading over in the next couple of hours. When I got in the shower that night, however, I got a really strong bad taste in my mouth. I brushed it off at first, but then my jaw started to uncontrollable move to the right. I remember I started praying, not knowing what was going on, and grabbed the side of the shower to brace myself for what was next. At that point I tried to yell for help, and turn the water off realizing I had no control over my body. I remember shaking for a bit uncontrollably, but the next few minutes were kind of a blur. Kim finally realized I was taking a long shower, came in to find me a sleep in my bathroom floor.

I felt like I was making it up. That didn't happen, I had never felt that way before, and when trying to convey what I thought had happen in the shower to my friends, it made no sense. So being the crazy person I am, I napped, I rallied and I went out anyway- Soberly, of course.

The night ended up being wonderful, and looking back I am so glad I decided to continue my life normally. I got to see Composed-Kim back bad decisions, danced a lot, met some wonderful people, and overall had a great night!!!